Oreka Godis as one of the leads, served hair goals throughout the season.
I need this much hair, NOW!
Oreka Godis as one of the leads, served hair goals throughout the season.
I need this much hair, NOW!
The first time I Stumbled across Coco Ribbon was on instagram on my friends feed. The second time was the very next day when my auntie texted me a picture of the box and asked if I had tasted it. I brought it up to my friend and she said it was set up by the brain behind Cupcake Cutie- one of the first cupcake brands in Abuja (one of the first? The first?) and that Coco Ribbon was a brand in Abuja before Lagos- for once!
The time that made me order it though was someone's order arriving in the office- the box was so distinctive that I instantly went to the instagram and called. There was a bit of an awkward pause when I found out that the cheapest thing was a box of 6 for N4000, and N1,000 for delivery. “I’ll call you right back”, I stammered as I hung up. I really had no intention of calling back, because 5k on a box of doughnuts was nat in my budget.
My friend and I eventually decided to split a box, called and ordered all six flavours: salted caramel, nutella, vanilla cream (vanilla custard?), strawberry cream, raspberry jam and plain. Interesting fact, I asked to do a transfer and when the bank details were sent to me it said “Krispy Kreme Limited”, wonder what the story is there.
I was given a half hour delivery estimate, I got my box at closer to two hours, which was particularly painful because it meant hanging at work late when I did not have to. When the delivery guy walked in with the box, I forgave him and everyone because it was just so pretty and presenty. Very exciting!
After a really stressful process of splitting all the doughnuts in half and realising there was no plain doughnut in the box (if you're going to replace something in my order, you should let me know), I took a bite of the vanilla cream doughnut. My mouth filled with delicious cream and I knew in that instant I would never order it again. And the problem (FOR ME) is, the doughnut. It was covered in granulated sugar (pet peeve, the texture is too much of a contrast for a cream filled doughnut), too oily, and just...you know ...like a doughnut. How do I explain this properly- It’s like if you google doughnut recipe, it’s like the doughnut you’d make from the first recipe that pops up. Very highly rated, but also very...boring?
The fillings were very delicious. The vanilla cream and strawberry cream had a nice creamy texture that was not too runny; the salted caramel had a very good caramel mouthfeel, but I missed the saltiness, didn’t taste any; the nutella was soo delicious and the raspberry jam was the best of the lot- finally! Proper jam in a jam doughnut.
You can't beat the packaging for gifting this doughnut, it’ll make the cutest affordable gift!
We start off with Adam rehearsing his speech to Hannah to Jessah
“You’re not doing anything wrong”she tells him. L O L
I guess sometimes if you enter a relationship with technicalities, you can’t turn around and get angry for someone else relying on technicalities.
How is Hannah so pregnant? Is it the same method as making a bald head? Then again, that's the size of my stomach everyday after lunch
Adam find Hannah , delivers an abbrieviated version of the speech and they go back to her apartment
Have awkward sex (is there any other kind) and then go shopping for baby things- Adam already has a list of DIY projects he need to do- everything is moving in a high speed hyper reality. The problem with hyper reality is that reality can temper it really quickly.
On the other hand, Ray is falling in love with someone that Shosh already described as “too much” (I’d argue that youre too much Shosh but whatever)- she's from Shosh's Japan past.
Jessah is spinning out as you do when the love of your life abruptyly leaves you for their ex with barely any warning
When did we start caring about Rays life? Why does he have a story arc? Why do we care what he does with his inheritance? Why do we want to see him falling in love?
Also, its a really stupid question to ask if you would rather live in a beautiful building with a view of a dead building or a dead building with a view of a beautiful building- because all you're asking is would you rather live in a beautiful building or a dead building and hello?? Why do you want to live in a dead building for goodness sake?
When Adam left and went back home, that for me was the perfect metaphor for relationships. This guy really left the house to chase after love that morning- he had sex with someone else and spent the day planning their future and then he enjoyed that and came back home to his actual real life. Men do this shit ALL the damn time- why are the women always welcoming it with open arms- shit- I’ve had that exact Jessah moment- oh to be young and dumb and a ball of emotion
It actually feels like Hannah has her shit together the most, ya know?
...that this place wasn't going to bang. I mean what is Panache as a name for a restaurant? According to the first google search result, "Panache is a flamoyant confidence of style and manner" (also, I just checked and it was a yahoo search, awks)
Anyhoo, yeah. I was in Abuja for a bit and wanted to go somewhere nice. After all my research, only two options kept resurfacing - Pow and Panache. Pow is Japanese and someone said they cook with too much maggi so I chose panache because it's 'continental' (my word, not theirs)
Walked in and it was full of square tables with tablecloths. I kept trying to find a good angle to photograph the setting, but I couldn't find one (also, some man came up to ask why I was taking his picture- I wasn't but yeah)
At this point, I was still super excited. The menus were really gorgeous with pictures and they had the best dessert selection I've ever seen in Nigeria- AND.THEY.HAD.DUCK. Man I was ready to go in.
Ordered duck, my boyfriend (he asked me to put in this post that he's 6 5" and well built-he's not, but yah) ordered ribs, and we both ordered mojitos- which I always order because - easy to make right? wrong.
So we received this and I was like??? These mint leaves were obviously not muddled like they should have been. I'm paying way over the odds for this. What? According to my boyfriend, it tasted like transparent cough syrup and you know what? It reeally did.
The bread rolls had a very very very weird aftertaste- Before that day, I'd never tasted a bread roll I didn't like- I usually inhale bread rolls like I need them for my lung function - I put this down after one bite (also, I had the nagging feeling that the guy that accused me of taking his picture was trying to poison me.) I had to take a bite of my boyfriends roll just to be sure that they tasted the same- but then he would just poison us both, right?
My duck came. generous portion, in a wine jus AND honey roasted root vegetables (including beetroot, yuck). The duck was actually gorgeous, perfectly cooked and flavoured, so tender and lovingly made.
The dis-service was in the combination of the other things on the plate- my potatoes not dauphinoise enough and all the sauces being way too sweet and overwhelming. I asked for a new plate for my duck and ordered a garlic sauce. I can't even believe this happened, but my garlic sauce WAS BLAND. How is this even possible? I just gave up at this point and asked for the dessert menu. By this point, our waiter- Ekajo, who was the best part of the meal, was concerned about all the leftover food so, he recommended that I get the fondant. I wanted a more rounded dessert experience so I ordered a dessert duo instead. The duo included his beloved fondant so it was cool.
*sigh*. The fondant was the best thing on the plate, it was good. The white chocolate on the other hand, tasted like- you know when you put something sweet in the freezer with fresh stew and leftover moi moi and it ends up with a weird freezer taste, thats how the white chocolate tasted.
In summary, I generally don't have the highest expectations for food in Nigeria, I eat out more for the ambience than anything, but I just couldn't believe this , man.
And don't kill me, but I would still recommend it- stay with safe dishes, lower your expectations and just live. Order your water (which is served in a wine glass) , pretend you are drinking wine and just enjoy yourself. I mean, it's Abuja, where else are you going to go (this is a joke, don't give me a list).
How did we get here?
On my first day of uni, my microwave meal set off the fire alarm. It was a sunday morning and I lived in uni halls. When the alarm goes off, everyone has to stand outside till the firemen come. The firemen would walk through the crowd to the flat that set it off, shouting loudly on the way “who set this off?”. A sunday morning in uni halls means people sleeping off their hangovers. Standing outside on the lawn in various states of undress wasn’t really how people wanted to start their Sundays, and causing that wasn’t really how I wanted to start my uni life.
And that’s the story of how I came to exist on a diet of take-out, junk food and boxes of dry cereal in first year of uni (lol, jk, I just liked crap). It took one term to gain like 10-15kg and then a couple more months to gain the rest.
I was sick one weekend and by the time I re-surfaced, I kept hearing comments that i’d lost weight. So when I went home for some holiday, I started to eat three times a day. I would have the occasional ice lolly or apple and when I went back to uni, I had lost a couple of kg. I started cooking and making myself eat three meals a day. I didn’t count calories. Then I started taking a bus at 6am to meet up with two girls I barely knew to run for 12 minutes. When I started running properly later, it was kind of hilarious to me how little 12 minutes of running was. Then I started running on my own and increasing the distance and eventually I was doing 3 miles a day, everyday, rain, snow, shine.
The final piece of the weight loss puzzle came from a 10 day hospital stint for malaria- I think it was 10 days, but it was so long ago, I can’t remember for sure.
I maintained that weight for three years, and then I moved back to Nigeria. Mate, you know how they say pride comes before a fall? I would never ever ever ever have thought I'd be back here. Again.
I’ve had sooooo many false starts all rooted in doing the quickest thing- it wasn’t until I looked at my old tumblr that I realised that it took a long time the last time but I eventually got to my goal. If I had just chosen consistency, I might have been further along in my journey now.
This isn’t some call to action post- I’m not about to state all my weight loss goals and do weight check-ins. I mean, I might, who knows, but this isn’t what THIS post is for.
This is just you know, a celebration of the second month of a new year, so goal 1- lose weight.
When I set out to read 52 books this year, my main goal was to read all the books gatherng dust on my digital bookshelf and utilise my time more productively (I forgot how I get lost in books and forget to do other productive things)
I deleted the twitter app from my phone (somehow, twitter isn’t as fun when you use it on anything else) and got to it. I picked the books randomly, but when I started to write this post, I realised that, there was a thread that ran through the books- womens empowerment!
Book 1 was a wonderful memoir Paris Letters about a woman who quits her job in LA, goes on on European holiday and falls in love and starts a new life and business. It was a great way to start the year full of that kind of energy- a reminder that you have the power to change your life.
Book 2 was Love, Style, Life- Garance Dore’s book I bought years ago when it first came out and never got round to reading. It charted her journey from uni dropout to successful illustrator and blogger who moved across the world for love and pursuit of her dreams.
Book 4 was Lean In- which is one of those books people leave on their bookshelves forever and never read. I finally read it on a few journeys to and from work and loved it. It outlines biases that we all have and what to do to change them.
Book 5 was Sweet Revenge by Jane Fallon - I fell into an amazon binge a few nights ago after me and my cosuin reminisced about one of my favorite authors Sarra Manning and how she manages to turn stories from an underrated and often superficial genre into something complex and heartfelt. This book is about a woman who finds out her husband is having an affair and develops a revenge plot. (hmm, just occured to me that this isn’t the first time she’s writing a book about a husband cheating). It was a light easy read.
Please share what you’re reading with me in the comments or on twitter and instagram! (and please subscribe).
I wanted the new year to be the magical elixir that completely transformed my life, but one day in and I can tell that it takes more than the calendar changing for everything about my life to change, aka, i'm still the same person, aka duh.
I don't know what I expected, but I’m borderline disappointed, at the genie that never waved his magic wand and at myself for not being prepared to work more on myself.
The truth is, there is nothing more addictive than a future version of yourself. Future version is shiny and fun, disciplined, focus, wise and rich, but the journey to get there is long and hard and deliberate. I’ve read about and talked to so many successful people and no matter how much of the narrative changes, the premise is still the same, deliberate focused work even at times when it seems like pure ‘luck’ (I won’t say no to a footballer gifting me a week’s earnings sha)
I remember when I was a lot younger and my aunt said you couldn't pay her to be young, because being young was fraught with uncertainty and you know, it's so true. The nature of uncertainty changes as you grow older, but fundamentally, being young is uncertain, because you actually have the power to determine your future and that’s a scary power to have. There are no rules to this thing, and even when steps look obvious, taking the steps is often a lesson in discipline and overcoming fear.
What career is right? what friends are right? When is the right time to leave? who is the right long term partner?
It’s even harder when you look on instagram and linkedin and twitter and everyone else but you is just strolling into fun opportunities that rake in loads of cash, while you wonder if your data plan is going to stretch beyond your light stalking.
How much is persistence and how much is flogging a dead horse?
I don’t know the answers to most of these questions. And maybe that’s the point. Maybe all you have to focus on is doing more than the best you can as much as you can, but first defining what that is. Maybe the answer is getting comfortable with the failure of not knowing and doing anyway.
Maybe the answer isn’t waiting for the new year to brush a magic wand over my life. Maybe the answer is taking more responsibility about how your life goes.
*ALL THE IMAGES IN THIS POST ARE PROMOTIONAL MATERIALS FOR THE MOVIE. NONE OF THE PICTURES IS MINE*
If the advertising budget for the wedding party was anything to go by, a lot of effort went into this movie. I saw the trailer for this movie EVERYWHERE, by the time it came out, I was already thinking I have to see it. Rewind. Romantic comedies in all forms of entertainment are the baseline of what I like. I love love, sue me. I also LOVE seeing black people on tv. It’s the reason I’ve watched more than one Tyler Perry movie and relentlessly give all movies and tv shows with a black cast a fighting chance, including a lot of Nollywood stuff.
This movie is chuck full of popular romantic tropes and many Nigerian ones- reformed bad boy getting married to quintessential good girl. ‘Good girl” as defined by entertainment is usually a colourless one dimensional character that is extremely naïve- and to be fair, Adesuwa Etomi, as “bride’ fit that stereotype perfectly. She shows her friends her wedding lingerie- a pink and white polka dot tank top and shorts combo and I can’t help but roll my eyes.
There’s also the cold in-law, and Ireti Doyle, surprisingly, overdoes it completely, providing the contrast between the ‘high class family’ talking about taste and potato dauphinoise vs the “razz” family that is overly excited about amala and their daughter getting married.
The actual wedding was the greater part of the movie and it was a lit wedding. There were times when it literally felt like I was watching someone’s actual wedding video, take from that what you will.
But where the wedding party excelled was being a typical but relatable rom com. In place of the airport scene is a scene where bride is chased to her “favorite spot”, by a fire on the beach front. WHERE? All the things that make Nigerian weddings familiar were present and a little bit exaggerated- the over the top wedding planner, struggles of a guest list, stealing at weddings, the ridiculous prayers, the dance in, the “ex” coming to criticise and stir up drama, same as the side chick, families fighting and then reconciling, fighting over souvenirs. There was a lot to laugh about and there was a lot to relate to.
I have to shout out to the stellar performance by Sola Sobowale- she stole every scene she was in, glorious as an actress.
If this is the future of Nigerian romantic comedy, I’m pretty excited. And a last note of warning, don't watch it if you don't like rom-coms for goodness sake. You'll come out shouting that it's overrated and underwhelming and that's not the movies fault.
This season has been mad heavy for new shows and I've been scrambling trying to watch as many of them as possible to decide what the BEST ones are.
We open with the boys playing- we all know by this point just how rare that is, with all their complicated emotions and memories.
Kate is back at a meeting after falling into a bag of doughnuts at the end of the last episode.
And then she's at dinner with Toby, who is wolfing down pasta and has the bread basket next to him. Somehow he's managing to eat and drink everything at the same time and it is NOT cute. Kate's Salad looks especially tragic next to his pasta and I can imagine exactly how she feels. I like that the break up was nice and swift.
I mean Kate just told you she cried herself to sleep after she binged on powdered doughnuts and you're thinking of how she's choosing her emotional well being over you? hmm.
It's thanksgiving day and Randall is super excited. Of course he's cooking a hosting. Kevin has lured his co-star along by promising her that his family is super interesting because he has a black adopted brother and his mum his married to his dead dads best friend and did he say his twin was obese or did I just imagine that part? This babe is GORGEOUS! I mean the whole British people are dark and weird and cold is really over-played as foreigners always are in American TV.
Kate is walking down the plane aisle and everyone is looking at her like "ill deck you if you sit next to me." I felt bad because I've definitely had that thought before. Imagine how awkward it feels for the fat person. Kate had bought two seats though, so her seat mate could like leave the attitude behind. She didn't, but she should have.
Co-star person wants to leave, all "I can't do this" and William talks to her about how dying feels and tells her to catch all the moments of her life while she's young and she runs back inside and kisses Kevin! Thanks William but yous about to get in trooouble!!
It doesn't look like that here, but it felt like the plane was about to crash (like I don't hate flying enough)- yeah so this 'near death' experience leads to Kate deciding to have weight loss surgery. Although no-one cared when she said it because Randall found out that... his mum has known about his bio dad for like ever! Trouuubleee.
Yeah- this episode was a bit bleh. I feel like they tried too hard to make us feel something, with the whole flashback to how they invented their traditions and Kevins new babe and I just really felt detached from it all.
How about you guys, what did you think?
For the past year, I'be been trying to lose weight. If I'm honest, I've been trying to lose weight for the past year and a half. I've juiced, jogged, starved, cut out whole food groups and all I've done is ruin my metabolism and increase my size.
Finally, a million and one fitness groups later, I decided to take the sensible approach and work on diet and exercise (duh), making smarter food choices and trying to maintain a consistent workout schedule and most importantly, getting rid of my extremely accurate weight watchers scale. I've tried to log things in My Fitness Pal before (great app, but can't be arsed)- so I've turned to my regular pen and paper and that's working out a lot better. I also started insanity asylum, which I genuinely prefer to any other insanity workout I've done- so far, so good. So weekdays are great! Up at 5, work out, eat my breakfast, take my already meal prepped lunch to work, eat my healthy dinner and my healthy snack packs.
Friday night and it all goes to shit! I'm going to use this weekend as an example. On Friday, I had a great morning. I worked out, pushed myself to finish, packed one of my most filling breakfasts (sweet potato and scrambled eggs), ate at work, was so full, didn't have lunch (small boiled plantain and chicken) till much later. So far, so good.
Left work to go to Hans & Rene after dark. Hmm. Started my night with a gelato cocktail (kiwi mojito, absolutely delicious). Didn't say no to the free food platter (mini sandwich, mini pizza, mini meat thingi), ate the thing. To go , I HAD to have the mojito gelato (it was cheaper than the cocktail AND had alcohol). I chalked this up to dinner and went home telling myself in the back of the uber that it was my 'cheat meal' for the week.
On Saturday, I started well- had exactly one slice of yam and one egg after my ab workout. I was feeling righteous but also hungry. So I had a cashew snack pack. Still okay. Then I was really tired and had to go out so I had a cappucino with sugar and everything. Still not terrible. I skipped lunch and had two handfuls of seaweed peanuts instead. Cool cool cool. 9.30 pm and starving, I had a salmon salad with olive oil and balsamic dressing (heavy on the olive oil). If this is where I said goodnight and went to bed, the day might have been salvaged. "How about a nightcap?" Dami said to Dami. So I had six hob-nobs, and a giant horlicks (with a little sprinkle of hot chocolate to give it that kick). Sigh.
Sunday! I had given up the righteousness. Started my day with no workout and some leftover pasta with chicken. I guess the leftover wasn't leftover enough because I was still so hungry. So I repeated my horlickshobnobs combo. Had a nap. Went to GT fashion week, started off with a turkey and cheese croissant from Hans & Rene (these need to be permanent, soooo good) and sprite (because to be fair they weren't selling water.) Next step- the lounge. I had a platinum pass and I wasn't about to waste it. So two mojitos and a few small chops down, I went to watch the show. Came out of the show peckish (maybe seeing all the model bodies?) so I went back to the lounge for some chocolate cake (YUM-MAY) - tbh, it was average but it was free, so extra marks for freeness. Went outside to meet my friend who was buying a toastie and I thought - heh, why not? And throw in a cold fanta please?I don't even like fanta.
Went home and attempted my workout- gave up half way through and ate my toastie. Fell asleep with a what the hell question mark hanging over my head.
I woke up this morning and as I struggled through my workout, I thought? I can't wake up at 5 to workout, nearly die at different points throughout the workout only to throw away all of that work at the weekend.
That, my friends, is how I ruined a week of hard work in one weekend.
*yes all the images are mine- a monkey isn't fine but his mother likes him*
What else did this guy do but scare children at parties and give bad gifts? He definitely didn't leave anything under any tree and the only way he could have come in the house was if he was a ghost and had magical powers to pass through the barred windows and sometimes doors and reinforced mosquito nets.
Lol. I have a faint recollection of a small amount of money for one tooth one time but come on - no one bothered to keep up any fairy appearances - if you got money, fair enough - your parents were nice but you certainly knew where that money came from- them.
You know those cute pictures where the parents are doing all this struggling and suffering and their kids had no idea? niccuh you kneeew- you knew about those sacrifices yo and even some that were made before you existed.
Giiirl if you don’t git! Easter was about forehead ash, palm crosses and Jesus dying for our sins yo. Bunnies didn’t come into it- heck, chocolate didn’t even come into it. Occasionally, schools would try and be cool and all and make kids decorate eggs shells and churches would organise egg hunts but no one was believing in easter bunny.
Hilarious how we heard tales by moonlight about turtles marrying princesses and outsmarting animals and kings, but harry potter? Hell no- not allowed. Magic was bad, not be be believed in or imagined, even slightly. Mate- parents didn’t even want to buy harry potter bedding or whatever- just no. and Harry Potter was one of the milder books on magic.
When I first started being a runner, I had never run before for fitness. I used to wake up at 5.30 am everyday and take a bus so I could run with two other new runners for 12 minutes. It was easy to make this commitment because other people I didn’t know that well were involved and I didn’t want to be a flake or let anyone down.
When I started running more seriously by myself, I learnt that actually, the most important person to trust is yourself and being able to trust yourself is the same process as being able to trust anyone else. So I had been stuck on a longest run of 5 miles and I was sick of it. I wanted to be able to go and go and go and not break my speed either, so I decided to do a runkeeper training plan. The only thing with a training plan is that you can't wing it- you can't go around being tired or blaming rain or snow or whatever, you just had to go- so that’s what I did. I just went. When it rained, when it snowed, when it was high summer, when it was a frosty day. That diligence paid off and within weeks, I was able to do half marathon distance, something I had never achieved in the years I had been running before.
I thought of trusting yourself because I was looking through my posts at times where I’d committed to a series and failed after one or two posts- at the end of the day, maybe no one cares- I’m probably the only one that cares- but me caring IS the most important thing. If you don’t feel able to trust yourself, it affects your ability to follow through, to remain consistent, to grow as a person. You have to treat your word to yourself like your word to anyone else- it has to mean something.
Mate, Frank Ocean made us wait how long for this album? Come on! By the time it came out, people were expecting fairy dust and unicorn zoos. These things don't exist so it was clearly not going to happen but I think he came pretty close (tooth fairy level).
I'm going to review with the help of my friends (whose permissions I did not obtain in advance)
You start this thinking 'mate if this is what I'm looking forward to, it's sick!
You know that song in the album you know that you're going to skip after the first few listens? This is it.
He said it best.
One time I was listening to this album at 6am in the kitchen and my mum came and started talking to me and this came on and it just cast this nice holy veil on my head. Same thing happened with my friend, but with her driver.
"In hell, In hell, there's heaven" , theres context for this lyric but based on my social conditioning, I still feel guilty about it
This is one of my faves because it comes up at a point where I've stopped listening to the thing and my ears perk up again
I think this is the first easy fave - until pick + fucking above (please see above)
LOL- this asshat with this French accent
I love this album, thank you Frank.
Sometimes I imagine infidelity in marriage to be a bit like if you and your best friend moved cities and they got a new city best friend and the first time you go to visit, you're upset and sad and jealous and you hate whenever their name comes up
But then maybe you go away together- just you and your best friend and you have an amazing time and bond and you remember why you're best friends and new city best friend doesn't even come up once and after a while when new city best friend comes up, you don't even care anymore- sometimes new city best friend doesn't even come up for weeks
Then one day, you ask 'I haven't heard from new city best friend in ages' and best friend says 'yeah I don't know, we don't really talk anymore'
When you think of wine , you think - red, white, sparkly , non- sweet, tart, tastings, crackers , cheese- there are so many wine associations
When it comes to palm wine *crickets*
We know it's tapped. We know it's from Palm kernels. People have nkwobi with it sometimes. That's it. But Palm wine has a fascinating history - there are regions, types and interesting food pairings. Health benefits, proper storage and what other kinds of alcohol come from Palm wine- *spolier alert*, ogogoro is one of them. Studio of Mode has done the hard work for you, travelling and learning about palm wine and now you can come and check out what they found (and drink palm wine)
This exhibition is for you if any or half (or none) applies:
There will be bottles of palm wine on sale as well - so you can take the party home with you.
I was going to title this post 'glory days' and put up all these old photos of me in the past three years where I was a lot slimmer and laugh like OMG- I want to be back there. But the more I went through the pictures, the more I realised something very disturbing- I'm always looking forward or backwards in terms of my body and never thinking of right now. It's nice to have all the pictures and all (I document everything, from my sleep to my outfits), but I looked at so many pictures and remembered feeling fat- feeling like I had the power to just do a little more to achieve a degree of perfection that my mind didn't fully know. It didn't help to have people in my life who fed into that energy and made me feel like how I was wasn't enough. And what I realised from looking at those pictures is that the warped mindset is only a mind thing but it will always be there, even if I was perfect tomorrow. If I can't enjoy who I am right now, I will never be happy, no matter who I become.
(click right to see more photos)