New Year, New Me (Or Nah)

I wanted the new year to be the magical elixir that completely transformed my life, but one day in and I can tell that it takes more than the calendar changing for everything about my life to change, aka, i'm still the same person, aka duh.

I don't know what I expected, but I’m borderline disappointed, at the genie that never waved his magic wand and at myself for not being prepared to work more on myself.

The truth is, there is nothing more addictive than a future version of yourself. Future version is shiny and fun, disciplined, focus, wise and rich, but the journey to get there is long and hard and deliberate. I’ve read about and talked to so many successful people and no matter how much of the narrative changes, the premise is still the same, deliberate focused work even at times when it seems like pure ‘luck’ (I won’t say no to a footballer gifting me a week’s earnings sha)

I remember when I was a lot younger and my aunt said you couldn't pay her to be young, because being young was fraught with uncertainty and you know, it's so true. The nature of uncertainty changes as you grow older, but fundamentally, being young is uncertain, because you actually have the power to determine your future and that’s a scary power to have. There are no rules to this thing, and even when steps look obvious, taking the steps is often a lesson in discipline and overcoming fear.

What career is right? what friends are right? When is the right time to leave? who is the right long term partner?

It’s even harder when you look on instagram and linkedin and twitter and everyone else but you is just strolling into fun opportunities that rake in loads of cash, while you wonder if your data plan is going to stretch beyond your light stalking.

How much is persistence and how much is flogging a dead horse?

I don’t know the answers to most of these questions. And maybe that’s the point. Maybe all you have to focus on is doing more than the best you can as much as you can, but first defining what that is. Maybe the answer is getting comfortable with the failure of not knowing and doing anyway.

Maybe the answer isn’t waiting for the new year to brush a magic wand over my life. Maybe the answer is taking more responsibility about how your life goes.