Father Christmas and Other Lies your Nigerian Parent Never Bothered to Tell you

*yes all the images are mine- a monkey isn't fine but his mother likes him*

Father Christmas

What else did this guy do but scare children at parties and give bad gifts? He definitely didn't leave anything under any tree and the only way he could have come in the house was if he was a ghost and had magical powers to pass through the barred windows and sometimes doors and reinforced mosquito nets.

Tooth Fairy

Lol. I have a faint recollection of a small amount of money for one tooth one time but come on - no one bothered to keep up any fairy appearances - if you got money, fair enough - your parents were nice but you certainly knew where that money came from- them.

Sacrifice fairy

You know those cute pictures where the parents are doing all this struggling and suffering and their kids had no idea? niccuh you kneeew- you knew about those sacrifices yo and even some that were made before you existed.


Easter Bunny

Giiirl if you don’t git! Easter was about forehead ash, palm crosses and Jesus dying for our sins yo. Bunnies didn’t come into it- heck, chocolate didn’t even come into it. Occasionally, schools would try and be cool and all and make kids decorate eggs shells and churches would organise egg hunts but no one was believing in easter bunny.

Harry Potter

Hilarious how we heard tales by moonlight about turtles marrying princesses and outsmarting animals and kings, but harry potter? Hell no- not allowed. Magic was bad, not be be believed in or imagined, even slightly. Mate- parents didn’t even want to buy harry potter bedding or whatever- just no. and Harry Potter was one of the milder books on magic.