Body Dysmorphia

I was going to title this post 'glory days' and put up all these old photos of me in the past three years where I was a lot slimmer and laugh like OMG- I want to be back there. But the more I went through the pictures, the more I realised something very disturbing- I'm always looking forward or backwards in terms of my body and never thinking of right now. It's nice to have all the pictures and all (I document everything, from my sleep to my outfits), but I looked at so many pictures and remembered feeling fat- feeling like I had the power to just do a little more to achieve a degree of perfection that my mind didn't fully know. It didn't help to have people in my life who fed into that energy and made me feel like how I was wasn't enough. And what I realised from looking at those pictures is that the warped mindset is only a mind thing but it will always be there, even if I was perfect tomorrow. If I can't enjoy who I am right now, I will never be happy, no matter who I become. 

(click right to see more photos)