Nigerian Law School Bar Finals Tips and Hacks

Law school exams are here again and following the massive failure lately, it doesn't hurt to have a few tips on the ready. 

1. Attend every single revision class. A revision class is where it was casually announced that the time of our exam had been cut. 

2. Read the same thing from different sources (by different sources, I mean lecture notes and revision notes, not mami materials) as many times as possible.

3. Take no more than a few minutes to arrange your thoughts, but then write really fast. Three hours speeds by faster than you might think.

4. Leave two lines after you answer every question in case you remember something.

5. Give straight to the point answers. You have no time for faffing around.

6. If you're making good time, give examples, where relevant.

7. When you're unsure of the exact answer, write everything you know about the theme of the question.

8. Where you have a choice, don't answer a question that requires you to draft a process if you're not sure of every single part of that process. 

9. Make sure you go through every single page of the syllabus and know what everything is. Some questions may be on something that wasn't mentioned in class at all, but every question will be from the syllabus. You should know everything, even if it's not in detail, you don't really have time to answer anything in that much detail. However, you answers should be articulate. 

10. Memorize your exam number. 

11. Don't take your watch to the exam. In the middle of my exams, watches were randomly banned and someone I know had her watch stolen. If you don't want to rely on the random clock in the hall, bring a cheap watch.

12. In fact, don't bring anything you don't need.

13. Dress properly.

14. It's better to miss 15 minutes of last minute studying than to be let into the hall 30 minutes late. Be smart about going in on time.

15. Ask lecturers questions at any point before the exam. 

16. Beware of mami materials, except maybe past questions. Ask questions and follow the syllabus.

17. If group revision has never worked for you before, don't try it now.  

18. If everything else I say is irrelevant, USE THE SYLLABUS to study.  

Good luck!

How To Get Fat

You're skinny. You're slim -maybe you've always been skinny- maybe you just lost a lot of weight. Today is Saturday- it's your friends birthday- it's a dinner-intimate - this is one of your closest friends, it would be rude not to eat- you know how long she's planned this and she's paying herself! You more or less starve all day so you can eat dinner. And it's amazing! 4 courses + birthday cake! Plus the most divine cocktails.

The next day- you miss your workout because you stayed out late. You're tired and a little hungover- it's not the end of the world, you've worked out a couple of times this week anyway. On Sunday, you're in bed watching TV shows- your loving partner or mum walks in with a little treat, a pack of coconut chips, a salted caramel cupcake, a mini doughnut, or some frozen yoghurt because its Sunday and everyone needs a little cheat in the week. You've been so good. You eat it because it's only little and you're hungover off course it would be rude not to.

Now for many people, that's fine. They might get up the next day and go straight back into insanity and salads. Or maybe that's a trajectory to weight gain. Either way, we all know it's easier to lose weight in a first world country where everything is packaged and prepared and the nutritional values are slapped on to the front of the packet.

In Nigeria, it's hard. I just started a weight loss challenge with some people and when I was trying to convince people to join, I was struck by how little information there is about losing weight. People have this impression that it's all salads and starvation and spending a lot of money, but it's actually not.

So I've decided to make this week wellness week. I'm going to debunk myths and post recipes and hacks and meal ideas that don't feel like you're suffering but don't also kill your budget. It's not just being slim, it's your skin, it's your energy, it's digestion, it's your mood. It's crazy how much what you put in your body affects everything else.

It's Monday, try and be healthy today! 

Sunday Brunch: Lunch Club VIII @ Velvett Grill Lounge and Bar

So, the 8th lunch club was yesterday at Velvett. 

Velvett is usually kind of pricey. So when I saw the lunch club menu, I knew I was getting a bargain!

At the beginning, we had lovely surprise cupcakes from 

honeys cupcakes

 from her new ...line?...collection? whats the right word for new food, which we got to try and review.

Obviously bread wasn't on the menu, but when the waiter put this basket on the table, I nearly wept in gratitude. The bread was really fresh. When he took it away, I almost grabbed the basket out of his hand.

I'm sure you could tell from the menu that it was going to be an appetiser platter. It was missing the plantain, but I can't say it would have added something different- just more food. Everything tasted good to me, tbh. I did wolf everything down at scary speed, so most of it probably missed my tastebuds.

I ordered my steak medium well because you just can't be sure how you're going to get your meat cooked in places. I ordered medium rare one time and they basically slapped the dead cow on my plate with sauce. Fola ordered medium rare and it was perfectly medium rare, so with Velvett, I guess you can trust that they understand how to cook steak. The meat was really tender and the black peppercorn sauce was great. This course came with a discussion of Nigerian cows and why steak cuts are imported.

Oh and the mash was great. Creamy, smooth and made from real potatoes. I pretty much scraped the bowl.

The chicken looked really good and was massive!

We had the brownie and tiramisu for dessert. I have to admit, this fell a little flat for me. The tiramisu was much too creamy with little or no sponge fingers. The custard was tasty, don't get me wrong, but the dessert isn't just custard and mine was basically that. The brownie was dry and most of mine was burnt. After the rest of the meal, I was a bit disappointed, but also full, so it was fine.

Velvett Grill Lounge and Bar is located at 19b Idejo Street (beneath Izanagi).

To join the lunch club mailing list, go on 

eat.drink.lagos

Sunday Brunch- Hans and Rene

You know those Sundays when there's rice at home, but you still want brunch (because brunch isn't just about the food), that's where Hans and Rene comes in! 

Hans and Rene is an gelato cafe (my words). They have gelato, sorbet, slush, sweets, coffee, tea, cakes, cookies and pastries (ps- I hate the word pastries). 

It's inside the Radisson Hotel at the side and has this cute outside seating strip. 

Their gelato has 40% less fat than ice-cream (has an extra scoop).

Ps- their salted caramel gelato has popcorn in it. It's an unpleasant surprise.

Their sorbets look creamy because they are churned really slowly, not because they have any cream. This zobo sorbet was delicious. 

You can taste as many flavours as you want (I think). The last time I was there, I did see this little girl taste like 10. She had a stack of used spoons. 

Cruffins are croissant  + muffin. They taste more like croissants, but not as flaky. Still delicious though!

These doughnuts are cakey and delicious but small enough for you to not to feel too guilty about it.

It's done up really well and the seating feels spacious and comfortable. I was tempted to plant myself here for a day, it's easily that kind of place.

This 3D wallpaper in the bathroom was interesting. We ended up posing on it. My 

cousin

's picture turned out better than mine. Mine was lame, but sitting on a pretend chair is a lot harder than it looks.

These painted ceilings are pretty! And so real. One of my favourite things!

I had the regular vanilla and nutella gelato. My cousin had the rice milk vanilla and chocolate vanilla which is a great option for the lactose intolerant and fitfam.

 This is hands down, the best mocha I've had in Lagos (then again, I haven't had many). It was creamy and perfect.

Hans and Rene is in Radisson Blu Hotel on Ozumba Mbadiwe and is open 12pm-7pm, Mondays to Fridays and 12pm to 8.30pm on Saturdays and Sundays.

International Stores that Deliver to Nigeria

asos



Before I begin this post, I have to point out something that a lot of Nigerians don't realise or believe. Nigerian has a postal service AND that's how most of your ASOS deliveries come (for proof that it works), so if you're for instance sending a parcel from the UK to Nigeria, and you use regular royal mail, your package will probably be fine. So, not everytime, look for someone coming back. It will take like two weeks and the girl at the post office might charge you N500 to collect it but it will probably come.

When I moved back, I made a point to look for things I can buy in Nigeria instead of spending foreign currency, because the naira is really unreliable (and that's putting it mildly). Obviously, it's frequently a lot cheaper to buy it from wherever and there are some things that are just impossible to find (matcha powder and loose leaf tea if anyone knows)

Anyway here are some sites that deliver to Nigeria;


Asos
Asos is number 1 because their delivery is FREE (no minimum spend)...as in you can buy a £3 necklace and ASOS will deliver it for free. I'm stressing this because people actually order stuff from Asos and sell the stuff, which makes me feel like people don't know delivering from asos is easy, free and relatively quick. If you're in Lagos, it's going to get to you faster sha, because they deliver to Lagos first and then dispatch to whatever state. When I ordered from Abuja, it took a while. Try and keep orders under £40 because over that and you start to have issues with customs payments and etc. Your stuff will still come but you might have to pay to collect it.

Missguided
Now, I heard about this and went to check out the delivery countries on their site and sure enough, There was Nigeria but, I've never ordered from here or known anyone that has, but if you try it, let me know what your experience is.

Lookfantastic
Look fantastic sells beauty products...look fantastic...geddit? teehee. I feel like you can find most beauty products in Nigeria, but still.

amazon
Amazon ships selects items to Nigeria and some sellers deliver to Nigeria as well.

T.M.Lewin
They have stores in Nigeria so I feel like this is moot, but if you like want the latest collection of shirts or whatever. Actually, I think ordering from the UK is actually cheaper than buying from their Nigerian stores, but don't quote me.

Aliexpress
I've actually never ordered from aliexpress. There's something about choice that cripples me, plus a sellers paradise where you cannot trust for a second that what is advertised is what you're going to get. I'll try it someday sha. *shudders*

Selfridges
Delivery on selected items. I somehow feel like Selfridges just wanted to say they deliver to Nigeria without really having to deliver on that promise.

This isn't an exhaustive list. Where do you shop?


Sunday Brunch: Lunch at Kitchen Butterfly

So in my

last brunch post

, I mentioned Kitchen butterfly, but that's only because I have firsthand knowledge that her food is amazing. Teehee.

Let's just all agree that the best brunch place in Lagos is

Wheatbaker

 so we can move on with our lives. Free champagne cannot redeem Southern Sun brunch. They don't care about the food AT ALL. They just toss food on the table and blind your taste buds with free champagne. No.

Anyway, this isn't about brunch wars. It's about that one time I happened to have lunch in KT's kitchen. And boy was it a good lunch.

We started with some roadside plantain chips with scent leaf dip

Rose and zobo mix with chunky ice-cubes- yum

Cream and condensed milk

Grapefruits sprinkled with sugar

Waffles!

Spicy crispy chicken

Mini blueberry pancakes

Dipping sauces...chocolate and caramelised white chocolate with mint (she should bottle this)

Spicy zobo jam

Peaches and cream (not just regular cream)

Creme brûlée about to be blureed

blow torch in action!

Perfect!

beignets- I was so full at this point, I don't think I even tasted these

 The food, the conversation, it was all really perfect. Who else is opening up their home for lunch?

5 things you learn as an adult

 1.  Nobody is either good or bad. There is no such thing as completely bad to completely good. Humans are complex creatures with the capacity for good and bad and what they do depends on many environmental factors.

2. No one is going to make you do things. You have to make yourself.

3. How you look is probably not the most important thing about you.

4. Neither is how intelligent you are.

5. Your dreams fade/die if you don't constantly cultivate them.

6. Friendship takes effort.

7. Someone is going to title their post 5 things and tell you 7, that's life, deal with it

Sunday Brunch: 202

I took these photos last year, last time I went anywhere :( But as much as I appreciate the growth of the Nigerian food industry in the last few years, it's still soooooo far behind. Some days I don't want want a buffet of non-breakfast food or packet pancakes and cold toast. Some days, I just want real proper brunch. If you're in London, please live for me and go and have real brunch. If you're not, like me, just go to the kitchen and fry some eggs or beg

kitchen butterfly

 for an invite to her kitchen. Anyway, without further ado...

202 restaurant london

Isn't this kettle gorgeous?

some kind of berry smoothie

french toast and bacon

eggs benedict

I think this is the crab salad but I really can't remember

eggs florentine

pancakes

mint leaves in hot water (aka mint tea)

sorbet and ice-cream

crumble

tiramisu

202 is at 202 Westbourne Grove and is open from 10am-5pm on Sundays

Sunday Brunch: Crust and Cream

I remember like 3 or 4 years ago or was it 5? I don't know man. Anyway x number of years ago, the only places to really get brunch in Lagos were hotels. Hotel buffets. Some people still swear by that type of brunch but now there are a lot more options. Crust and Cream is one of those brunch places that everyone swears by and it's also SUPER CHEAP! This might be the cheapest place I've ever had brunch...or wait...is it? Actually now, I'm starting to doubt myself...but for brunch, it's still cheap...don't get me wrong...you'll whip this up at home for less...but a restaurant is not your home. 

So... the brunch menu is typical...Who has had this Asian breakfast? I'm curious and no one seems to have ordered it...Does it even exist?? 

 I ordered the American breakfast because even if the restaurant is not my home, I'm not paying 2800 to eat yam or plantain.

crust and cream oancakes
Crust and cream American breakfast

 Something was missing from my plate...I think it should have a sauce? All these dry things and nothing to add them together. Also, I had to ask for butter...what's toast without butter?? The food was okay. I didn't feel like I had thrown my money away but at the same time, I was like hmm...I kind of know why it's cheap.

dessert at crust and cream

I had dessert, because I try to have dessert as much as possible (remind me about this when I complain about being fat)...It was a chocolate fondant. The presentation was cute, like a little wonky star-eyed face. The fondant was too much oozy centre. A (I'll assume) manager came up to me when he noticed I hadn't really eaten any of it to ask what the problem was. When I told him about the overly oozy nature, he tried to tell me that's what a fondant is...lol...I know what a fondant is...I didn't really appreciate that lecture but then he swapped it for a different less oozy fondant, so good outcome. He also said that if I ordered it again, I should ask for my fondant how I want it #protip.

And thus ended my rainy day adventure at crust and cream. I realised when I was uploading photos for this post that I barely took any. And they have such a pretty display of pastries and confectionary. Must have been the ridiculous rain!

Crust and Cream is at:

11 Musa Yardua Street, VI.

They are open from 8am - 12am on Friday - Sunday and 8am-11pm on Weekdays.

just do it, Dammit!!




I over think everything. Everything, everything, everything. The over thinking mostly ends up in undergoing or not doing at all and its like procrastination x 150,000. It's terrible. It's also ridiculous. It's more ridiculous because we now live in this super hyped up world where everyone seems to be doing and doing and doing...or is seen to be doing. There's a main hustle and a side hustle to a side hustle to a side hustle all wrapped up in a brand name. I've been part of people's hustles and I can't help but ask myself...where is your hustle?

I'm asking myself these questions like...

1. what do you want to achieve

2. How are you going to get there

3. What's the worst thing that would happen if instead of overthinking, you just did??

4. How come pepper soup isn't that common? Even in restaurants with apparently Nigerian menus?

Has this post suddenly transformed my whole life...am I suddenly going to just become a Nike logo and do things? Probably not...But also probably not not. 

Throwback Thursday: Lunch Club V @ Mansilla

So...another lunch club is coming...seems like the perfect time to write about the last one! 

These have to be my favorite name tags yet- stuck in macarons!  People left their macarons on the table, but I ate mine. Typical. Sigh.

The menu was PAAACKED. Eek. But I've never been scared of a packed menu and I wasn't going to start being scared now.

They brought out this fancy water, but the cover destroyed the look. Why can't brands just follow through design to the end?! I excluded the cover because it made me sad.

The Quinoa salad was AMAZING. Delicious and fresh, slightly warm. The pomegranate seeds added a little extra flavour. This excited me for what was to come...

A palette cleanser, is well, just that.

These duck spring rolls were everything spring rolls should be. Crisp and ducky. They were also really small so the portion wasn't overwhelming.

The two drinks were...disgusting. There's no other word. The mango margarita with the chilli rim sounded exciting and looked beautiful and that was it. It tasted of only tequila. So, a chunky tequila drink. I couldn't drink it.

After the disastrous drink, my high kind of dropped. This ravioli was okay. The pasta was a bit chewy and the sauce wasn't enough, but it was very okay. It wasn't bad. It was just one of those 'this can be rice at home' moments.

So the owner? manager? came round and noticed my drink was virtually untouched so she offered a different cocktail and it was delicious! Yay! She basically got new cocktails for everyone so that was nice.

This curry dish was okay! The vegetables were seriously undercooked (so healthier, I guess). The curry was lumpy. Sigh. There was just no 'I'm eating out' feel from this. It was like it came straight from my kitchen on a regular day.

Steaky steak steak. 

The final palette cleanser which was nice.

Double dessert! I hate cheesecake (except chocolate cheesecake because the chocolate basically masks the flavour of the cheese) so I didn't even bother. sigh. The chocolate cake was okay. The dessert was misrepresented on the menu tbh. It was an okay end.

This was a really good lunch club. The crowd was great. The conversation really flowed and we ended up being there for absolute ages. I would go to mansilla again for the quinoa salad and the duck spring rolls- so starters. I've also heard they do a good breakfast. For mains or drinks? nah nah nah nah nah. 

Tidal is now almost free and other news you should know this morning

President Buhari wants to appoint himself as Petroleum minister

This list of YA books every adult should read. One of the best book lists I've seen in a while

There's another Sister Act movie coming out!

Tidal has announced student pricing- they also announced a new web app- but yeah

A woman was killed from a basement butt injection gone wrong

Sheryl Sandberg wrote the most touching post of her feelings after her husbands death


Cats cry like human babies and other news you should know this morning




Did you know that cats cry like human babies? Now all those boarding school stories about hearing magical babies cry in the night make sense.

A Chinese ship capsized

The Nigerian currency scam- officials were burning paper instead of old notes. Tbh i just don't see Nigerians burning money

A lion jumped through a window on safari and killed a woman

An Air France Flight made an emergency landing in Russia

This article about food and cultural appropriation

Caityln Jenner broke the internet last night, a lot more than Bruce Jenner ever did anyway









Kim and Kanye are having another baby and other morning news

Kim and Kanye announced on Keeping Up With the Kardashians that they are having baby number 2.

Chimamadas dad got kidnapped for a couple of days and she wrote about it.

Google Maps is going offline. Thank God you won't have to rely on epileptic phone reception if you're lost anymore.

New Boko-Haram attacks since Friday. Sigh. Hope the insurgency ends soon.

For anyone who doesn't understand the fuss about FIFA at the moment, here is the FIFA scandal in summary.

Saudi Arabia is still pumping out oil, even though prices are down and America has pulled back on production. Nigeria had better start looking for a new source of income ASAP.

For everyone who missed it, here is the full text of President Buharis inaugural speech.

The US might end bulk data collection from smartphones, as the law that authorised it has expired. A new law is expected to take its place in the next few days, but in light no recent terrorist attacks in America, its unlikely to be as stringent.

This muslim woman got abused on the plane because she dared to ask for an unopened can of coke. the flight attendant refused to give her an unopened can incase she used it as a weapon. When she complained, a passenger shouted on her to shut up.

9 inspirational quotes from 2015 commencement speeches. It's the 1st of the month and a Monday, get inspired!



Best iPad and iPhone Apps of all time

Soundcloud (iphone + ipad, free)



Hello, duh! I love soundcloud because it's all about finding that new artiste or that new remix or actually just someone old making new shit. It never ever gets tiring. The only downside is it requires an internet connection. It's 2015. Get one!

Shazam (iphone + ipad, free)


I don't know how obvious it is that I love music, but everyone NEEDS shazam. You know when you hear a random song anywhere and you need to know what it is, just shazam it (yes, the app is so popular and important, it's now a verb). Open the app and let it listen to the song for a few seconds, so it tells you whats playing. Magic trick.

Whats App (iphone, free)

I wasn't going to state the obvious, but whats app is the best messaging app bar none! For something that has been around for so long and that Facebook is involved in, thats rare.

ABM- A Beautiful Mess (iphone + ipad, $0.99)


I don't know if it's obvious but I'm a little fanatical about my photos and edits. ABM is the best app for customising photos. It's simple but sleek. There a million and one apps that do the same thing but none like ABM. I would say I'm biased because I love their blog but I didn't even know about the blog when I started using this app. Infant, the app was so good, it made me start reading their blog!

Calorie Counter and Diet Tracker by My Fitness Pal (iPhone + iPad , free)


Listen. If you're going to count calories and you're not counting with My fitness pal, then I honestly DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. Tracking calories is hard and it's so easy to underestimate how much you're casually wolfing down   (your plate of party rice is probably not 300 calories)and 'just one' chocolate bar is not 100 calories. Get it!

UBER (iphone, free)

How did I get around before Uber? Wait, I didn't. I just stayed indoors all the time. Uber has genuinely changed my life. I'm not so sure I'll be all up on the idea of Uber in other countries tbh because like it's basically a strangers car (insert fearmoticon) but in Nigeria, It's pretty much cab companies that sign up or individuals with the mind set of cab companies. It's so convenient and oh btw, here's a Code that gives you a free ride! (it gives me a free ride too. Also, it's N2k credit on your account not like free- if your ride is over 2k you'll get charged the difference) for more on how uber works, read my review on uber here.

Instasize(iphone + ipad, free)



You know when you have a badass full length photo, but can't get it the silly instagram frame? Easy peasy- stick it in this app and open it in instagram! Problem solved!

IF (IFTTT) (iphone + ipad, free)




I should have done a whole post on this app actually. It used to be called IFTTT (if this then that) and that's basically what it does. You can set up a whole set of actions. So in this post where I talked about getting emailed HONY updates, I set it up in IFTTT, so 'if Humansofny posts a new photo' then 'send me the post as an email', it works with an endless amount of channels. The possibilities!!

Duolingo (iphone + ipad, free)





Learn language in a fun way! Duolingo structures language learning like a game, taking you through levels that include speaking, listening and writing. I'm using it for french at the moment and really enjoy it. It even has a web app so you can pick up where you left off across all your devices.

Kindle (iphone + ipad, free)

Read anything! I use it to read pdf documents, magazines  and well, books that I don't download from amazon and books that I download from amazon . It's cross platform as well so when I finally give up on apple, I can take all my stuff with me.

incredibooth(iPhone + ipad, free)

These days, one of the best things about the reception is the photo booth, so how great is it to have a photo booth on your phone!

Kanye West Receives Honorary Degree (Transcript)

Kanye got a doctorate from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago!!! Well, a honorary doctorate, but hey! I find this so ironic because his first three albums gave college degrees a roasting! And now here he is dressed in robes and accepting a degree?!  Here's the transcript of the lecture he gave from Complex. (thank you, complex!)

Speaker: I’d like to begin by quoting from the Chicago Tribune, which I hope many of you saw, just this past week, our guest has—and I quote: “the most important, influential cultural voice to emerge from Chicago in a generation,” and that’s the Tribune. And that’s accurate. Kanye’s voice, and what a voice it is, and you will be hearing him live, is bold, expressive, complex, innovative, and I think he truly is a visionary. His voice is unmistakably his own; you recognize it immediately. But I'm also interested in how his voice comes out of a long,historied view and vision of Chicago’s sounds.
Much like Kanye, who was born in Atlanta, much of these sounds originated in the South, but then found their way North through the great migration. And during that time they took on the air of their newfound home, those songs, images, and voices became Chicago, and they were transformed into something entirely new. A few of the names, many of you under a certain age may not even recognize, but you should know: Louis Armstrong and his jazz, Nat King Cole, Gene Ammons, from right here in Chicago, Ahmad Jamal—another Chicagoan; Chicago Blues: Muddy Waters, Howlin’ Wolf, Buddy Guy, and Bo Diddley; the Chicago-style gospel of Mahalia Jackson and the Staples Singers, and the Afro-futurism of Sun Ra, and the Chicago soul of Curtis Mayfield. 20th Century music would not be so rich without many of these diverse Chicago voices, and this is the legacy that Kanye West, who is always a Chicagoan at heart, is carrying into the 21st Century. 
But through his profoundly original music, he’s also carrying this vision and these voices, and images forward, and his visual work in film, fashion design, and all his many other pursuits. So we are very proud to welcome Kanye West back home on this Mother’s Day weekend, and we are so honored that he’s agreed to allow us to honor him tomorrow. We are honored that he’s bringing to us his wide-ranging creative spirit, and his powerful voice that we celebrate here at the School of Art Institute of Chicago. 
[Applause]
Kanye West: Thank you so much. It’s moments like this that make the fight so worth it. To know that, to know… there’s people who appreciate how hard it is to be an artist in an industrialized, commercial world.
[Applause]
KW: So, I’d like to start with a question that can build an idea, energy, vibe, or something you’d like to know, and I riff off that—as opposed to preparing anything.
[Laughter]
Question: All right so, question, how do you avoid being stereotyped as a hip-hop artist when you have all these forms that you work in?
KW: Well, metaphorically, to be stereotyped as a hip-hop artist can be very much a hood that can put you in positions where people wouldn’t expect you to be. And in the same way how, when you step into places that have a “you’re not from here”-type vibe, if you are from there, and you’re too accredited, a lot of times people will put their guards up, and be less willing to work with you. And a lot of times I’ve been able to work with the most amazing people on the planet because I was considered not be a threat to what they do—because I was just there to be a “hip-hop artist.” 
So it’s allowed me to work with a Murakami or a Condo or Riccardo Tisci, or Spike Jonze, Spike Lee—all these different fields—that so-called “box” allowed there to be a level above, like a marriage or something, like working with people that are married, obviously these people are willing to be controlled and compromise. Actually, I use that little box and that stereotype to my advantage–to just be able to put that hoodie on and collaborate as much as possible.
Question: Being in the music industry, do you ever feel like you’ve had to dumb yourself down or make yourself palatable for a certain audience? Was there a time that you actively decided not to do this?
KW: Yeah I think people know the times where I “actively decide” to do something thanks to the Internet.
[Laughter]
KW: But I think the idea of dumbing down—each one of the things that you guys are gonna say I look at and there’s a positive—there’s a negative you thin of as an artist, but there’s a positive to it too. It’s the ability to step back from that immediate battle to win an overall war, and to understand how long the war really is, and understanding exactly how much to push on your concept, and how much information to put in there, how much to concede, win the fight. I remember on “Gold Digger” I had this line that said: “And when he get on / He leave your ass for a white girl”— 
[Laughter] 
KW: There was a radio guy who wouldn’t play it because he was in an interracial relationship—he had a white wife, he was a black disc jockey—so it directly connected to something he had issues with his entire marriage and relationship so he didn’t wanna play that. I remember there’s video footage getting really upset and fighting for that to be played, and you get one of those “Kanye West outbursts.”
[Laughter]
KW: At that time, for the idea of the art not being compromised, I was like—I didn’t curse, so what’s wrong with this concept? Whether I was using imagery of the Klan on MTV, and I would say: “OK, wait a second, so we can play G-strings, but if you play an image of the Klan…” and what it came down to is: “This is all bad for business, this is bad for advertising, or it’s making people think too much, or it’s bringing the truth to people’s attention that we don’t want to, or feel like right now.”
You know there’s different kinds of drugs, if anyone’s been on vacation and taken drugs before…
[Laughter]
I’m at an art school so I’m just gonna assume… 
[More Laughter]
But there’s drugs that make you tell the truth, there’s drugs that make you happy, there’s drugs that make you sad—there’s different types of moods it can put you in. And music… is like a drug. People go on vacation and say: “Did you bring the…” [whispers] “Did you bring the drugs?”
[Laughter]
And they say also: “Did you bring the music?” These things go together, “did you bring the alcohol?” So, the interesting balance of making enjoyable music that also has truthful information in it, it was always a very, very fine line. A fine line when to break the high, in a way. Because there’s a lot of dance music, like four-on-the-floor, it seems like it’s trying to be strictly the high and never break it, never giving you any type of information, just being the smoothest drug possible. 
And with backpack rap, there was always this responsibility that we felt to our parents, our ancestors, and to our generation at that time, to use our platform of the drum to educate with it. We took it as a responsibility, more than the responsibility of personal wealth, and I think that was the beginning—first notes—of any Steve Jobs comparison. Before I even knew to have the audacity to compare myself to Steve Jobs—
[Laughter]
There was uh, that idea of the fans and the backpack, the mix of the information, responsibility to my parents who were educators, and the understanding that it had to be a bit dumbed down, accessible in a way.
Question: Do you feel your work is influenced by the Baltimore riots or any other events within the black community? Can you give us an example of how current events targeting bodies like yours affected your practice?
KW: I think every time we go to the studio, we recap our entire history up to that point. Current events and the past 500 years, or the past 2100 years. I say that because I’m on the Christian clock.
[Laughter]
And when I work, I work really slow. I let the steak marinate. So the idea of jumping from current event to event to event, they usually come out in the music over a 4-6 month period. Everyone wants to speak so quick, so emotionally, and react right away, and just the way I create my music, the way I create my content, it just takes me a little bit longer, a lot more conversations, and I don’t like to complain without trying to find or offer a solution, which takes even longer. So, that’s the process and that’s how events like that affect the things I eventually say.
Question: I’m from the West Side of Chicago—this is gonna get a little emotional—I’ve lost two of my friends to violence. They got shot and killed. I made all the right decisions—never did drugs, never did anything, but… I’m scared. I’m scared I’m next. My family and I we live on a corner street, and we’re scared for bullets to come through the window and hit my sister, but like… I’m the last hope. I’m the first one to ever make it, and I’m so hungry, and I need something now. Just hoping you give some guidance, to all of us… We need something to keep on in this city… because I don’t know if somebody else is gonna end my life or… if I’ll never get out.
[Applause]
KW: I’m speechless. I don’t have the answer to that. I can only just listen to you and feel and understand what we’re dealing with here. And I can’t say that anything that I do or say will be the end-all be-all difference. I mean, we could just try. Yeah, I’m not even gonna try to give any politically correct answer that makes it seem like, after I say it, it’s all good—‘cause it’s not all good; it’s fucked up out here.
[Applause]
Question: I’m a fashion student, and I was thinking about my process. My process being something based on feeling, based on mood. I don’t really respond well to sketching, and I’m really interested in what your hand is in your design with your collection, and wondering what your process is—how you start, how you get an idea.
KW: My process is very similar to how I work on music, and I had this epiphany like two months ago that I was in the exact same situation, obsession, and position in clothing that I was in music about 13, 14 years ago, because when I moved to New Jersey from Chicago, my entire apartment was filled with records from head-to-toe. And when I was looking at my room in my house two months ago, it was completely filled with vintage samples, and the bathroom had been taken up with shoe samples–it had like the first Louis Vuittons, a pair of Yeezys in a color way that never came out—you couldn’t even use the toilet. 
[Laughter]
I was like: “Wow this is the same process.” It’s funny that you talk about process, because when I hire designers, a lot of them have an issue with my process because I do one million style-ups. A style-up is where you take vintage clothes, you have a like a hundred vintage pieces, and you, one stylist, maybe six stylists, sit there—and I say “stylist” because design is so contained, most designers are extremely arrogant and don’t ask a lot of questions, and then like Jony has 17 designers, and he’s the best designer on the planet. 
So my process, I think about the way Jony Ive would approach it, the way Steve Jobs would approach it, the way Walt Disney would approach it, the way Howard Hughes would approach it. As opposed to the way fashion had normally been. I don’t even like the word—you know… um… I’m trying not to say extra-politically incorrect things, anything unnecessary, but to speak to that idea, I’m constantly trying to find my process.
Even right now, as I’m doing recruiting for my next collection and we’re going to fashion houses and poaching talent, and schools and getting talent, I talk about not the process of just a fashion brand but the process of an animation studio, the process of a car manufacturer, the process of Apple obviously. 
I wanna see everyone’s org chart. I wanna see ten versions of org charts just in fashion alone. Why does H&M work and Zara work? Why does Céline and Givenchy work? Why does the Gap somewhat work not really?
[Laughter]
Why did the Gap used to work?
[More Laughter]
But J. Crew works, because Mickey Drexler is a genius of course. Why does Apple work? What are the strategies? What is the set-up? What is the process that makes these all companies work? It’s interesting I always hear about, now tech is pulling from fashion, because fashion has this understanding of culture, which is what art drives. And, how do you do it in a way where you truly understand it and you’re part of it?
The reason I always say I like Apple better than Samsung—and I’m sorry I say it every year, but I mean they just kick their ass, know what I’m saying? It’s like the iWatch—“oh we don’t remember that.”
[More Laughter]
But, you know Jony will sit and get Marc Newson to come in that did Ikepod and design with them. Or like, when I worked with Murakami, I would get them to work together. And what happens with commercial or the average business world—You know in my mind, I see billions of colors. In the business world, I only see one. What color you think that is?
Audience: Green!
KW: Green, OK. Which actually is my favorite color, ironically. Not because it’s the color of money, but it’s my mom’s favorite color, and I think it’s the color of nature, and it’s an awesome color. I really don’t like blue, actually. The color—not the child, I love Blue.
[Laughter]
I love Jay Z with all my heart so don’t try to… Now they’re gonna say: “Jay Z doesn’t like to ever fly on North West!”
[More Laughter]
But that question. It was so interesting that you asked that question because literally, I’ll be having a style-up, and I’ll be sitting there going through look after look after look, and the designer will come up to me and say “It’s time to sketch,now.” And I’m like: “No it’s not! We don’t have enough information!” Or “It’s time for you to do the styling, because I like the way you put it together.” I’m like” No it’s not! I don’t have enough stars to build this constellation yet.” I need to keep seeing information, because we want to invent, we want to contribute something. We don’t want to just capitalize off of what happened in the past. 
We don’t wanna do our version of a polo collared shirt and put a logo on it, we want to think about what society needs, what people need right now, and how can we provide it to them better at a price that’s realistic. I don’t want to use the words “affordable” or “contemporary” and those types of things. 
I just visited Axel Vervoordt… he has a—I’m gonna say his name wrong and you guys are gonna diss me—but Vertuni I think is the name—he has a palace in Venice, I just came from the Biennale, and Axel Vervoordt is a—you can’t even pinpoint exactly what he is, but he’s like a mix between an architect, an artist, it almost diminishes him to say he’s an interior designer, but that’s what he does. But his main point—and I look at him like Yoda, I don’t know if he looks at me like Luke… but, his whole point is proportion, how important proportions are. 
So if you think of the whole idea of luxury, I have a theory and a feeling right now that I got from looking at Axel Vervoordt that luxury is in the proportion. Whether small proportions or Rome-sized proportions, so when you think of luxury, I don’t really think of a tight Gucci jacket with a logo on it. There’s nothing luxury about that. That’s an insignia to say “I’m part of this gang” or “I spent this much money on it.” But then you’ll see picture of families in Africa that look so dignified and so stylish, and there’s no way that anybody in family’s outfit costs as much as that one Gucci jacket.
And the understanding of proportions, when I was doing Yeezus and I was in Paris, I was working on my apartment, and I worked with this architect namedJoseph Dirand, and he introduced me to Jeanneret, Charlotte Perriand, and Corbusier. Corbusier—I bought this lamp, and it was dumb expensive, it was $110,000.
[Laughter]
It was very inspiring to me, it inspired $100,000. 
[More Laughter]
Not just because it was expensive, but more for the fact that it was free when it was first made. And, it cost a lot because it’s a statement now, of class, so these French galleries charge rich people more, which I thought was really interesting as the world becomes less racist, that there’s still a really big class war. There’s a real separation of the classes and the masses, and Corbusier gave the people higher ceilings—literally and metaphorically.
I remember at that time, I was going through leaving Nike and going to adidas, and I was also dealing with trying to get a deal with a luxury house. Because I wanted to paint, but I wanted to paint with usable art. Sculptures equals clothing. Clothing is a form of usable art. And I would look at that lamp that was made of rocks and cement, but the shape was so beautiful, and it wasn’t even made of marble.
So when it was time to do the adidas collection, and I left Nike because they refused to give me a percentage because I was not an athlete—I don’t have a NDA that says I can’t say this even though it seems wrong to say out loud—I left Nike because they refused to give me a percentage, they also offered me $4 million a year to stay, which is an unknown thing but I’m sure it’ll show up on Hypebeast tomorrow.
[Laughter]
I wanted people to know that. 
[More Laughter]
And I still left them, because they weren’t giving me the opportunity to grow. They were working off an old business model, and Phil Knight was somewhere on an island. And then, Mark Parker would go and find people who I collaborated with years before, and try to do collaborations with them to seem cool, and as you see, Nike hasn’t done like, one cool thing this year.
[Laughter]
Shots fired!
[More Laughter]
And these are available at Foot Locker. 
[More Laughter]
These are just adidas that are fresh, they’re not even my shoes. I don’t even get paid to wear ‘em. 
The point was, when I’d look at that Corbusier lamp and think: “He made this, and he put this lamp in zoos, so everyone could have it.” It was about everyone having an opportunity to have beauty, to be inspired. How many times have you walked into a designer store, where you really like the head designer a lot, and you just grab a piece, and it’s just impossible to even consider how you could possibly ever afford that? 
And you might just spend some time in the store to the point where they make you feel so uncomfortable where you have to leave, and you’re like: “I just wanna be at least around it!”
[Laughter]
Or you could take it to the next level and just try it on… catch a nice little selfie up in the dressing room,  and post it.
[More Laughter]
So, one of the things that I loved about being nouveau riche was the ability to take those things out of the dressing room, and by doing that, I was able to learn and educate myself. You know I saw the Dior documentary, and Dior was educated from day one. He was born with wealth. 
And as you guys know, whenever you try to get credit, or a car loan, or anything like that, you gotta have something to have something. It’s almost impossible to start from nothing, or maybe you have an extremely amazing talent, and you get a scholarship, like I did at one point. I had a—what’s it called when you don’t have the whole scholarship? Part-scholarship for six months at the American Academy of Art… and I had a scholarship here too—partial.
[Laughter]
And then when that scholarship was up, I was fortunate enough that my mom was a professor at Chicago State University, so I could continue education until I had the opportunity where I was making enough money off the craft. You know, I wanted to talk about this barrier between art, music, and fashion. Because as you know with the class system, you know what’s the highest of course? Art. Art is considered to be the highest on the class system of creatives. Somehow even above a director, they can’t even be mentioned in the same breath as that.
I was on the phone with Steve McQueen one time and he said “I’m not a photographer!” 
[Laughter]
He acted like… you know OK, but you use a camera, Steve.
[More Laughter]
And I thought it was really amazing that Steve McQueen… the best thing I thought about Steve McQueen winning an Oscar wasn’t—as some people have told me—he is the first African-American Oscar winner… He’s not American, bro.
[More Laughter]
What I thought was the best thing about Steve winning that Oscar was the fact that he was able to be excellent at two disciplines. Absolutely excellent at two disciplines. And there’s theories about people who are amazing at stuff actually are amazing at other things.
It’s so weird, so Lewis Hamilton’s over at my house, right? And he starts playing music—I know I’m super Randy Jackson, I’m super random. These random ideas… they all make up a point.
And he’s there, and we’re playing some music in my studio. We’re having an Easter brunch and all of the family’s there, my wife’s family, my friends, everything. And he’s playing music, and everybody’s like: “What is this music?!” and I’m like “It’s Lewis Hamilton’s music.” They’re like: “Oh my god, I thought it was gonna sound like—“ and I’m not gonna say the names of who they thought it was gonna sound like, but it’s good, it’s really, really good. 
And it goes back to my point of, which is a selfish point, ‘cause I was gonna make it back to the fact that I’m gonna be a really good clothing designer.
[Laughter and Applause]
Just as a point of discipline, like Vertuni… A theater designer, a clothing designer, painter, merchant, people can have more than one skill set.
Let me flip it on the other side, I have to use this example, and I won’t say their names, but I’ll just say “a friend of mine,” and they might be here. But “a friend of mine” showed me their sketchbook and their fashion collection, and when they showed it to me I looked at it, and it had vibes, it definitely was vibin’, and when I saw it I said: “Well, are you still in school?” 
And the counter-response—maybe I’m gonna talk a little heavy-handed on it was—that they didn’t need school, and then when I tried to express why they did need to have that education or really get their craft together, they brought up of course my best friend and creative director Virgil Abloh, who has an extremely successful clothing line right now, and also is an extremely successful DJ, and extremely successful creative director obviously, but I really stressed the point of how important education was. And this is from “the dropout at it as always.”
I sat with Louise Wilson a couple weeks before she died and she told me—Louise Wilson is the acclaimed professor from Saint Martins that taught Phoebe Philo, Alexander McQueen, John Galliano, and I feel like I’m her honorary student… She talked to me for three hours, and she’d always say “these students today, they ain’t worth shit!” 
[Laughter]
She got sued like four times. Very harsh. You guys ever saw Whiplash? Yeah, something like that. 
And uh, she said: “How’s your daughter doing?” and everything. And I remember the last thing she said, she said: “You know what the problem is with all these students? Soon as they did anything from when they were really little, their parents clapped.” 
And the point she wanted to make to me, that she said to me as we were leaving out the hallway to the restaurant the last time I saw her, was: “Don’t clap.”
You have to push them, you have to drive them. I remember the first time that North climbed all the way to the top of the stairs, and I’m trying to say that, Kim would’ve grabbed her by the third stair.
[Laughter]
But she felt like she had to impress me so much, and be more dynamic, or hit the highest point that she had ever hit in her life. And Louise was really hard and difficult with the students, but I felt like, when you like Céline, when you like McQueen—all these things that I’m inspired from, I’m just talking directly about fashion—it’s because they were people that pushed that hard.
And, not to defend myself, but just to take this opportunity, because I have the mic—it’s not someone else’s mic, it’s my mic. 
[Laughter]
I feel a responsibility to push in the world. I feel a responsibility in my position to be like: “This is some bullshit.” Am I the only here that’s not crazy? Am I the only one here that’s not afraid of losing they Samsung deal right now?
[Laughter and Applause]
I think the responsibility that we have as artists—and I will mention myself in the same breath as you because Tuesday, I will have a doctorate. 
That song “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” never rang so true. But I feel… as artists, our responsibility is to the truth. Because how else can history be documented? How else can our time be represented, this time that we have? Who’s gonna stand up and say, as the gentleman said earlier today, how it really is right now? Who’s gonna express that?
There was a time when hip-hop expressed that. It doesn’t anymore, in my opinion. It’s just very simple. It’s like: I’m gonna f- your girl, I got the drugs with me… and I bought a foreign car.
You know when I went to sit with Farrakhan, as I’ve done many times over this past year especially and got really close to him, he would stress that responsibility of the truth. Truth no matter what. 
When I would sit with Steve McQueen, he would express that responsibility of the truth. The truth no matter what.
Matthew Barney’s my favorite artist… Vanessa Beecroft… uh… I got a list. 
[Laughter]
But Matthew is my favorite. That is my truth. And when I go and see a five hour piece, I just felt like he didn’t hold back from what was in his spirit. I feel like he expressed exactly the way he saw it, and that’s also the… I use all these words and I have a really simple word that I wanted to describe him the best. And I don’t wanna do a Porky Pig and just you know, just say four words to describe this one word. 
That is the… [Sighs] …My hard drive, it has the little rainbow spinning wheel on my desktop right now.
[Laughter]
That is the privilege of art, is to express exactly what you feel and to never lose that. I refuse to say this sentence all the way through about how everyone was born… I’m not even going to finish that sentence.
But you should capture your childhood… You know, I always say all the time, every opportunity that I get, every expanded opportunity to paint, I feel like I’m getting younger and younger. The idea of becoming an adult is the idea of conforming and compromising. My daughter, I know she goes to sleep and she dreams this whole plan of how she’s going to get away with whatever she can possible by the time she wakes up.
[Laughter]
And I think that that’s also responsibility of artists—to try to get away withwhatever you can.
[Laughter]
Because everyone’s compromising. Everyone is placing themselves in a social debt based on how big their house is, how fast their car is, and how fast the car is next door to them. They’re losing their art, they’re losing their passion, they’re losing their purpose. It’s like the whole world is based on showing how much you have. I went into debt to chase my dreams. I went into debt when no one wanted a straight, black American entertainer to design a dress. I went into debt as a rapper. It was like an unspoken word amongst the industry that somehow people felt like they could posture on me, but I’m motherfucking Kanye West.
[Applause]
And there’s no value of house, or car, or idea debt that could control the three-year-old that I have inside of me that will stop my artistry, that will stop my truth. There’s no mass public perception, there’s no immediate finger pointing that will stop my truth. You’ve heard of the phrase, “no weapon formed against me shall prosper,” and I would gamble that there’s no current celebrity that there’d been more perceptions of mental or verbal press weapons formed against. And I’d also say there are no more prosperous. So this is just an example; it’s all smoking mirrors. Other than what the gentleman talked about earlier, none of it is real.
You could drive past a homeless person and think, “Who’s richer? Who’s freer?” Drive past a homeless person in a Maybach and think, “Who’s richer? Who’s freer?” In the future, I think, because we’re more visually driven due to… uh… thank you Instagram, thank you Internet, thank you... just the communication that people understanding art, like art being in style and fashion, and appreciated, I think there will be more opportunities for us to be successful as artists. Art means something. I got emotional with fonts, spacing, proportion…
Okay, that was my answer to that question.
[Laughter]
Question: I wanted to know, as a person who’s pursuing music but also feel as though I have some academic obligation to finish school, what does this honorary doctorate mean to you?
KW: You have to move based on opportunity. If you have an opportunity to make a living as exactly what you dream about, you have to pursue that—at that time, when it’s there. If the opportunity isn’t there, just keep educating yourself as much as possible so that when the time comes you’ll be even better at that dream that you have.
What I keep saying is… I don’t want to totally touch on this too long because I might start crying because I would think that my mom would trade every single Grammy, BET, every award for her son to have a doctorate being that she was Dr. West.
[Applause]
So I was always frustrated when I would come to this type of… Well, I never came to quite this kind of thing. I would go to music seminars, give people some comments or ideas when I couldn’t express myself.
Before I close, I would like for you… Whoever still has a question, just scream the question at me—all at the same time. Right now, I wanna see If there’s anything I hear that I wanna speak on. Go ahead, this is your last chance.
[Screaming]
Question: Do you love me?!
Question: Are you afraid of anything, and if you were what is it? You seem invincible.
[Laughter]
Question: What is your definition of success, and do you think you’ve reached that?
Question: What did Chicago teach you?
Question: Can we hang out later?
Question: Why did you change your album name to SWISH?
Question: What is the biggest Kanye West misconception?
[KW smiles]
Question: Do you want to collaborate?
Question: Do you have a tape player?
Question: Rap something.
Question: How was the Bulls game you went to? How was the Bulls?
Question: Do you want to build a snowman?
KW: Yes I do. I do want to build a snowman.
Question: Who made your jacket?
KW: Haider Ackermann.
Question: Can I have it?
So when I say I wanna build a snowman, it’s because I want Bob Iger, the head of Disney, to invest in my ideas—not one idea, not a good idea, even a bad idea, a series of them, but just in my ideas. One of my ideas is that as I go to Art Basel and Biennale and all these things… I love Walt Disney. I love what he was able to do. I love Howard Hughes, David Stern, Steve Jobs.
[Laughter]
I feel Disney should have an art fund that completely supports all of the arts. And, as you say, this idea of coming to get talent here, I feel there should be a responsibility. Recruiters constantly looking for new thinkers, and connecting them directly to companies that already work. Why does the person who has the most genius idea or cultural understanding or can create the best art have to figure out how to be a businessman in order to be successful at expressing themselves? 
You remember Jay Z has the rap: "I'm not a businessman / I'm a business, man?"
I got a rap that's like this: "I'm not a business, man / I'm not a businessman."
[Laughter]
I think it’s important that anyone that’s in power to empower. I like to think that I have a good eye for art that will be commercially viable. I know that the word “commercial” is like [Sigh], but I think that’s my particular skill set. There’s certain people who have the ability to work at the mall and know what’s going to pop there. There’s certain people that can curate a gallery, and that’s a completely different skill set. And I think my skill set is somewhere in between.
I wouldn’t even try to, at this point in my life, curate a Biennale. But, I felt that for these past 10 years, 12 years when we made music, we tried to challenge the commercial status quo and push art.​ 
I have synesthesia: I see sounds in front of me; I've been trying to paint this picture since high school. I have paintings of drums, of snares, of chords, the colors that they are.
[Makes hi-hat noise] that's white.
[Makes bass drum noise] that's a darker color. 
I see it in front of me, so if you would try to separate art from music or fashion or the art conversation, food...
Everything is art. We're all part of one big painting. As you guys saw, that was a sonic painting.
We're all part of one giant movie, one giant painting. Every day that you step out, you're a piece of the painting. Your contribution. 
I could say something like... I hate giving these real meaningful statements and shit, like "Aw man, that really changed everything for me."
I'd rather be like Michelangelo and not finish the statement, you know... I'll let you... end The Sopranos or something. I'll let you decide what happened.  
[Applause] 

My Year In Books so far

The Girl on the Train

-

Paula Hawkins

It's in that 'if you like gone girl, you'll like this category' but I kind of have to disagree. Gone girl isn't really a mystery so much as a journey to why two people are as messed up as they are. This is a mystery, as in you don't find out what happens till the very end. It was an easy read but it was all very surface in the end. It tried to cover so many issues- alcoholism, the fallout from losing a loved one, domestic abuse, being the other woman, therapy, sociopaths, child molesters, drug abuse, infidelity. Geez! Everything was very surface and I felt like maybe the author didn't particularly understand any of these issues in any depth. Then again, these are things we can observe without deep understanding right?

Hamilton High-The DUFF

-

Kody Keplinger

Remember I blogged about the movie

the duff

before? Well, I got excited when I found out it was made from a book and decided to read it. Bad bad idea. The book doesnt have the same plot as the movie, from the trailer anyway, so it ended up being a book about teenage problems and teenage love and teenage bad decisions, which is great, but largely uninteresting the way this is written. It's no fault in our stars or perks of being a wallflower. Sigh.

The Fishermen

-

Chigozie Obioma

A dark tragedy about brothers who get a prophecy from a mad man and how their lives change afterwards. I typically don't read anything dark so imagine my surprise when I got sucked into this by my love for reading African books. The book is very wordy, but the story is surprisingly engaging.

We Were Liars

-

E.Lockhart

This book is supposed to be the bestest bestest book YA book ever if reviews are anything to go by. I did not find this to be so. It's about a group of teenagers who holiday on an island every summer and family secrets and the difficulty in being wealthy and etc. I think as I grow older, I fine YA fiction to be tedious. Teenagers are SO NARCISSISTIC in fiction. I just keep wanting to shout 'AAARGH!'

The Girl From Nowhere

-

Dorothy Koomson

I love Dorothy Koomson. So whatever I'm reading at the time, I pause to read her when she has a new book out. The central theme of this book is adoption, feeling like an outsider and a splash of racism.  Although I found the protagonist childish for a 37 year old, it was an easy and enjoyable read that took only a few hours to get through.

Only Ever Yours

-

Louise O'Neill

A dystopian novel about a school where women are groomed to become wives, concubines or nuns. I think writing in dystopian settings is an excuse sometimes to not try. As much as I got what the theme was - the story didn't really push any boundaries.

The Two of Us

-

Andy Jones

An unconventional love story featuring massive age gaps, chastity, unexpected pregnancy and a hesitation that's often missing from written love stories.

The Dish

-

Stella Newman

I read Stella Newmans debut book pear shaped and absolutely loved it. It was a honest telling of an overweight protagonist so when I saw that she has a new book, I almost broke my finger downloading it (and by downloading, i mean buying off amazon and downloading to my kindle). Its about a love story between a chef and an anonymous food critic. A book that has food as it's central element? I was sold before I even started and it was great. It's an easy escapist read.

Dangerous Girls

-

Abigail Haas

A group of friends go on holiday and one of them ends up dead. Well, murdered. Who murdered her? The book is a juxtaposition between current courtroom events and flashbacks from the past. It made me scared to think how easily you could end up on the wrong side of the legal system in a foreign country.

If You Could Be Mine

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Sara Farizan

This book is set in Iran and is about two teenage lesbians who can't be together for obvious cultural reasons.  After reading Girls of Riyahd, set in Saudi Arabia, I gravitate towards books with a layered cultural background. This fell short. I don't know why I'm reading so many YA books this year. But I think I need to stop actually. There was a sense of desperation , but it didn't feel real. It felt, as usual, overly dramatic. I felt like the plot could have been so much more exploratory.  I wanted it to be more of a cultural discourse than it turned out to be. 

5 Days Juicing Review

So I've decided to do it again. Juice! My last experience was pretty abysmal even if I was incredibly proud at the time (read about it 

here

). Last week, I was convinced I was ready to juice. I even started on a Tuesday! I even bought juice! I ignored my juicer, electric orange squeezer and smoothie maker and I bought juice from Simply Green.

I bought 8 bottles for two days. Their service was excellent and the orange coloured juice was extremely tasty. The red one was vile. It tasted so so dusty. The green one tasted green. The apple and pear did nothing for the taste. I'd buy the green one again though, because its apparently chock-full of good stuff. Everything can't taste good all the time.

I figured that buying two days worth of juice would keep me accountable. The short story is it didn't work. I spent two days drinking juice and then settling in to dinner at home. The first day it was some delicious grilled chicken in a vegetable broth and the second day it was grilled chicken as well actually. Grilled chicken and fried meat. On the third day, I had run out of money and will, so I ate- chicken. (and meat-pie and rice, but please no judgment)

At the weekend, a fresh determination came over me. I spent hours reading reviews, I bought fruit and veg and recycled my bottles from simply green. I was ready. On Sunday night, I juiced 5 bottles and put them in the freezer ready for Monday morning.

Apparently this apple juice looks like sick

I recycled the simply green bottles and notice how I stuck to the cap colour

Day1

Day 1 was actually ridiculously easy. Surprisingly so. I peed a lot, but I wasn't really hungry or tempted. In fact, I didn't drink all my juice! It went so well, I was scared that the excitement was keeping me full and day 2 was going to be ridiculously hard.

Day 2

Weight loss- 1.4kg, 3.1pounds

Day 2 was easier. I feel like this review is turning out to be a bummer because I can't just slide in here and boast about a juice fast being easy and slide out. My juices on day 2 were probably more filling. I even had one with avocado, which was actually really delicious.

Day 3

Weight loss- 0.3kg, 0.7lbs

I had only lost 0.2kg. BUMMER. Day 3 itself was quite easy. However, I did have temptation, we had lunch at work and the food looked and smelled GREAT! But before lunch, I quickly had a juice in preparation and I was actually really fine. I started  researching longer juice fasts because the temptation to ride this wave of easiness and just do it for 10 days is STRONG.

Day 4

Weight loss- 1.3kg, 2.9lbs

Day 4 was the hardest day. I woke up and my mum had made me juice, not enough for a whole day but enough. So my day started on a high. I got dressed and went to the local government which proceeded to be a whole day affair. I came home, no light, no fuel, no way to make juice. Luckily, my mum had some juice so I drank some of it. By the time the gen came on, I was too tired to make juice quite honestly, so I slept really early.

Day 5

Weight loss- 0.7kg, 1.5lbs

The final day! whoop! all delusions of carrying on for a longer time were well and truly wiped from my mind. My pineapple juice was burning my mouth and I just needed to go back to not ingesting so much sugary liquid. I also had a banging headache that just wouldn't shift.

The day after

Total weight loss- 3.7kg, 8.2lbs

Not bad for 5 days. I would so definitely juice again. I think I was really hoping for it to be like this treacherous journey and it really wasn't. Maybe my body just really needed it. I have to say, I do NOT  feel detoxed in any way. Glowy skin, a lightness, blablabla- I have none of the above and I didn't cheat for 1 minute! I can't say why, but I guess I DID lose weight so I shouldn't complain too much. Who wants to do this with me next time?

Lunch at The Daily Bread Lagos

I was having an uninspiring food day at work and paused to have a quick look at 

eatdrinklagos

 and decided to try the Daily Bread, because sometimes sandwich. Their website 

wasn't working on my computer or phone , so I called and spoke to a helpful lady who offered to email me the menu. Yes Please! To be honest, the website eventually worked and I lost interest in the meal but I was already committed by text to her so I ordered anyway.

The delivery guy arrived quickly and presented me with a massive bill . The delivery charge on the website was N300 but my bill said N500. Big difference! As soon as I sat down, I sent a text to my new best friend because there's a big difference between N300 and N500.

The food looked great to be honest. I had a minor problem with the fact that my juice was a smoothie, but these things happen.

Since my first experience, I've ordered from them a few times and put other people on to them as well and all the food has tasted great. My juice was also a juice the next time.

The only negative of Daily Bread is that it's pricey. It's definitely not a daily or weekly place to eat, but you know those days when you just want to eat something nice? Or maybe like payday week when you feel like you should spoil yourself? It's perfect for that.

We Don't Run Anything; We're Celebrities

Kanye West covered paper magazine and took control of the story with the theme we've been hearing lately. He's not as into music, he's all about innovation now (read, fashion) and it's ridiculous that the illuminati would be run by musicians. Here are some highlights


1. We don't run anything; we're celebritiesWe're the face of brands. We have to compromise what we say in lyrics so we don't lose money on a contract. Madonna is in her 50s and gave everything she had to go up on an award show and get choked by her cape.



2. saw this article that asked, "Should Kanye leave fashion to the professionals?" That question is really ignorant, in a way, because the second I sell my first T-shirt or my first shoe, doesn't that make me a professional? 

3. I heard this quote from Steve Jobs: someone came up to him when he was working on something and said, "Hey, just do it. It will be easy." And he said, "Wait a second. Anything halfway good is at least medium hard.”


4. It's fine to not get credit for everything; it's almost better. 


5.