Thoughts from Beauty and the Beast


So picture this. You fall in love.  Yeah the person isn't your usual type but you've grown to love their eyes and the funny thing they do with their eyebrow and the familiar way their hand feels when you hold hands- or whatever- whatever reasons you have for falling in love with this "ugly" person are valid.  Now imagine you fall asleep next to the love of your life and when you wake up, they are an entirely different person- as in completely different- but objectively "not ugly", does that make you feel like "hmm thank God I don't have to be with the ugly love of my life anymore" - errr no- you're like WHO THE FLYING PHUCK ARE YOU? GET OUT OF MY BED.

So when Belle falls for the beast, errr...this prince is a different person yo. The beast was hench, all he had to do was do the Kanye work out plan and drop a few pounds! When he changed into a boring ass human, she "joked" about him growing a beard- come on Belle, you know you loved that hairy beast.


If you get kidnapped, and a candlestick is nice enough to let you out of your cell, please return the favour and stay in your lane.  Don't go and start "exploring" the house- this isn't a rental viewing- don't go and try and touch cursed flowers that may keep people trapped forever- I mean, for goodness sake! It's because of this flower obsession, your father was kidnapped in the first place!


So this chick Belle is telling her dad that she'll come for him and escape right? super noble and whatnot- cool. Next thing, she's taken out of the cell, given food and a bed, the whole princess treatment right? See- SHE EVEN LEFT THE CASTLE AND GUESS WHAT HER "KIDNAPPER" DID? HE SAVED HER LIFE.  Guess what she did? nursed him back to life and chilled in the castle, taking snowy walks and making jokes about cheesy books- only for him to ask if he has a chance with her and she says "can anyone be happy if they aren't free?" maybe not man, but you free Belle! You very free.  You guys was niggas in parising! GO AND SEE YOUR DAD! The guy that is so desperate to save you that people believe he's a crazy person. 


That yellow dress she wore to her private dance with Beasty was supposed to be the highlight outfit, but just didn't translate from cartoon to real life.


Just as a final note- please, don't fall in love with beasts and try and bring out some deep inner spirit.  You might ruin yourself in the process (the same way Belle was already ruining herself and forgetting her dad for some library books).  Not even a beast with money okay? Not even a beast that's a prince.  


If anything talks to you in someones house and you are in Nigeria, you are in the presence of witches and there is no such thing as a "good Nigerian witch" so be careful. 


I think I've come to the end of my thoughts.