In this new world when you can be anything and do anything, it feels infinitely harder to do the things I love. Not really harder when I do them for me, but extremely harder when I do them for other people, like writing or like drawing. I’ve always written and I’ve always drawn and it always seemed easier to do when it wasn’t a “real” thing, just something I liked.
But we live in a world now where ANYTHING is possible and suddenly being a writer or an artist is a completely different feeling. I remember when I had a blog I wrote on all the time, I could whine about the same thing or person on endless consecutive posts and never feel like anything but myself. But even now, I’m writing this and I’m thinking must Dami always do an existential crisis? Can’t you just like do something fun for a change? But like this is me and I guess I have more existential crises than most and it’s either I live my life through that or I constantly have to wait for those brief moments when I’m a different person to live my life and that doesn’t seem like any way to live.
If no one else knows what they are doing? How have they managed to look good and make money whilst ambling along? I’m not buying it. It’s like how everyone has “imposter syndrome” but somehow everything is fine? How about Imposter’s Imposter’s syndrome, where you’re scared that you are really an imposter, and you ARE?!